September 15, 2010

Phases of a Relationship

Falling in love is easy, but when it comes to a relationship, well I can tell you it's really not that easy.. not at all..

The first 3 months of being in a relationship with your lover is the sweetest  moment when everything seems fine, no fight, no jealousy, no lie, no bad habit. everything seems perfect. But, wait a minute, did I say that there's no lie in the first 3 months of being in relationship? well I lied, because everybody lies in 'the first 3 months', everybody is being such a hypocrite, hiding the bad things from their lovers. Did I say that everything 'seems perfect'? well, yes it does, in other words fake perfection. 

The 4th-6th month is when problems start to come out, you start to find out things that your lover tried to hide and so do they. It happens because all of us start to show the real us. the 4th-6th month is also when exes usually being questioned in details and yes, problem comes as jealousy comes. Some people don't survive in this '4th-6th month' phase and decide to break up.

Up until 1st anniversary more bad things are covered up. If you want to get through it then you have to understand your lover more. Remember, if you love someone, you take them as they are, accept the good things and bad things. Relationship is not just about sharing your love to someone you love, it's more about commitment.

'From one to one and a half' ,in this phase things are getting more stable, no more pretending. You and your lover have known each other pretty well. This phase seems good, BUT also it's when more-serious-problems tend to occur. Why? because one of you or even both of you start to lie. Not lying about bad habit or personality like in the previous phases anymore, but it's more like lying about something more serious like flirting or even cheating. remember that TRUST is the key of a good relationship. no trust no us rite? :) So, please do not lie to the one you love. because when you lie to them you hurt them, while love doesn't hurt. Many people break up in this phase simply because they don't like being lied, nobody likes. But, some  people forgive their lovers because the love that they feel is so big, bigger than the hate they feel or anything else.

Up until 2nd anniversary is a quite hard time for two people in love to deal with a commitment that has no longer trust. I mean, it's hard to get back the trust after it's really broken. You can be a person that full of suspicion after being lied and this what makes things get worse. When your lover try to convince you that they have changed and promise you that they will be no more lie, you hardly try to believe it but your heart has kinda defense that provokes you to think that everything is a lie.

Between 2nd and 3rd year, you can finally trust your lover again (maybe, maybe no) and things start to get normal. Keep it normal, fight for your relationship if you really love your lover.

More than 3 years, couples tend to get bored with their relationships. they usually tend to cheat on their lovers and break up, or they just break up without any serious problem just simply because they're bored and think that there's no more to fight for and they're not meant to be together. But there are also some couples that  can survive and even they love each other more each day and well they finally get married, then I can say they are meant to be. :)

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