September 17, 2010

Irrational Love

what is love? this is a simple question, yet so many definitions. Many people describe love as something that makes anyone who feels it happy, a bit crazy, high and drunk. Yes it is, no one can refuse the sensation that love offers. You can be so irrational when you come to love.Love is good, love makes you feel alive, but don't forget that love can be very dangerous when you can't control it.

Sometimes you forget to love yourself when you love someone too much. Well, I mean all you wanna do is spending the whole time with the one you love. I know it's fun, but hey don't forget that there are a lot of things that you have to concern about other than that, like family, friends, education, work, self treatment, and stuff. Somehow you will realize that life is not all about love, somehow you need time to be with your family and friends, and time to be alone. Note that. I can say it because I've been there and done that.

Too much love will kill you. Well it sounds like a title of a song, rite? it sounds funny but it's true. It is literally true, because I've seen people around me who hurt themselves  or even worse, they tried to suicide because of love. Crazy isn't it? but it happens. So, be careful, do not let love makes you lose your mind.

Last but not least, sometimes when you love someone too much you hurt them. How could that be? Well, yeah, simply because the more you love someone the more you depend on them. You want them to be by your side all the time, you start to be such a suspicious person, full of jealousy, and finally you become possessive. And that's not good. In this condition, your relationship will no longer comfortable. It can be even worse when your lover finally give up with you and your relationship, but you selfishly can't accept that and force your lover to stay. Open your eyes, you can never do that to someone, that's cruel. It's true that you have to fight for someone you love, but there's a time when you just have to let them go for good.



September 15, 2010

Phases of a Relationship

Falling in love is easy, but when it comes to a relationship, well I can tell you it's really not that easy.. not at all..

The first 3 months of being in a relationship with your lover is the sweetest  moment when everything seems fine, no fight, no jealousy, no lie, no bad habit. everything seems perfect. But, wait a minute, did I say that there's no lie in the first 3 months of being in relationship? well I lied, because everybody lies in 'the first 3 months', everybody is being such a hypocrite, hiding the bad things from their lovers. Did I say that everything 'seems perfect'? well, yes it does, in other words fake perfection. 

The 4th-6th month is when problems start to come out, you start to find out things that your lover tried to hide and so do they. It happens because all of us start to show the real us. the 4th-6th month is also when exes usually being questioned in details and yes, problem comes as jealousy comes. Some people don't survive in this '4th-6th month' phase and decide to break up.

Up until 1st anniversary more bad things are covered up. If you want to get through it then you have to understand your lover more. Remember, if you love someone, you take them as they are, accept the good things and bad things. Relationship is not just about sharing your love to someone you love, it's more about commitment.

'From one to one and a half' ,in this phase things are getting more stable, no more pretending. You and your lover have known each other pretty well. This phase seems good, BUT also it's when more-serious-problems tend to occur. Why? because one of you or even both of you start to lie. Not lying about bad habit or personality like in the previous phases anymore, but it's more like lying about something more serious like flirting or even cheating. remember that TRUST is the key of a good relationship. no trust no us rite? :) So, please do not lie to the one you love. because when you lie to them you hurt them, while love doesn't hurt. Many people break up in this phase simply because they don't like being lied, nobody likes. But, some  people forgive their lovers because the love that they feel is so big, bigger than the hate they feel or anything else.

Up until 2nd anniversary is a quite hard time for two people in love to deal with a commitment that has no longer trust. I mean, it's hard to get back the trust after it's really broken. You can be a person that full of suspicion after being lied and this what makes things get worse. When your lover try to convince you that they have changed and promise you that they will be no more lie, you hardly try to believe it but your heart has kinda defense that provokes you to think that everything is a lie.

Between 2nd and 3rd year, you can finally trust your lover again (maybe, maybe no) and things start to get normal. Keep it normal, fight for your relationship if you really love your lover.

More than 3 years, couples tend to get bored with their relationships. they usually tend to cheat on their lovers and break up, or they just break up without any serious problem just simply because they're bored and think that there's no more to fight for and they're not meant to be together. But there are also some couples that  can survive and even they love each other more each day and well they finally get married, then I can say they are meant to be. :)